Answer:
These feelings are oh-so-common, I promise. It is common to feel extremely conflicted about feeling better and, although it may not seem rational, it is also common to gravitate towards the pain. When it feels like the alternative to feeling pain is losing connection to your loved one, what other choice do you have?
So, what to do? I suspect that the answer to that question will be personal and specific to you, but here is what I suggest:
Remember your love one's memory does not live in the pain of your grief
Carry on learning
